Take Two… The Restart!!

‘Bucket List’

‘a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime.
“making this trip is the first thing on my bucket list”

Ok for anyone who read the start of this blog will know that when it was first wrote was in July 2018(when I was 45) you’ll know my plan did as a lot of my plans do and got put to the sideline. Yes I started the blog, yes I did TWO whole blog posts but sadly then I seemed to get overwhelmed with the new job and Life. I started to feel sorry for myself and instead of just doing something about the list I allowed myself to wallow in self pity.

What was most difficult was trying to decide where to start. With myself, with the house, with planning, with exercise, with a new diet, with figuring out how to get a better income, losing weight, improving myself, my life, my children’s lives, the list of things that needed to be improved was endless. Now I’m not someone who allows herself to get down but I spent a year with no improvement but with lots of things just marginally getting worse month by month. Like the frog in cold water swimming away, getting comfortable, not realising the water was getting hot until it was too late.

For me I haven’t had a break down moment. I’ve had some teary days I’ve hidden from everyone, days where I just couldn’t see how things could ever get better. Actually as I write this I realise they weren’t even full days. A few hours maybe. Then I’d convince myself with no plan that things would get better. Sure it’ll be ‘Grand’… My Favourite Lie.. Maybe not a lie but what I’d be sure would happen. How it would be Grand unless I changed things I’m not sure!

The world of self help books and gurus aren’t worth anything unless you DO the things they say!

Anyway the previous post is my To Do List from last year. I’m going to looked at it again but I know It hasn’t changed and after almost 14 months its the beginning once more. Let’s hope I have learned something from this wasted year and that this year I’ll manage to tick some things off my list! They say the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over but expecting different results! So I’m going to choose sanity for the the remainder of 2018!

Siobhan ❤️

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